Business is "Business" and Personal is "Personal"

[Rob Northall]

It would be long before I was born that my Grandfather sat in a Pub in the Rhondda Valleys trying to have a quiet pint after a long hard shift at the Coal Face, for he like most of the working men of his village was a Collier.

 

The Pub was full of the hum of conversation about the long day underground, when my Grandfather said in his deep gruff voice “There’s lots of Coal being dug tonight Lads”

 

The Pub fell into an uneasy silence for one or two minutes and then the conversations started up, but not another word about work!

 

Where am I going with this?

 

Well Read on?

 

I have always said “This is your website!” Which it is!

 

I have always said “I would not moderate it”. Which I haven’t!

 

In all the time that the website has been here; only once have I ever sanctioned a member for bullying.

 

This was when a Member picked on another Member for being employed by “Right of Place”.

 

Which is where I am leading – “Business is Business and Personal is Personal”

 

Historically Members have had a go at Michael Walsh the Chairman of “Right of Place” these have always sailed close to the mark?

As Chair person of “Right of Place” you may disagree with what the organisation does or doesn’t do; and he may be addressed in this. Surely “Feedback” can only improve things?

 

Similarly any other Person who has a position within Government or an Organisation can be challenged about their role or their policies but please don’t attack the Person?

 

If you are feeling emotional when you start to post, please reread what you have written and think before you hit SEND!

 

Think of the impact on others?

 

I am not trying to water down the Website, but want it to remain a place where ALL feel comfortable?

 

I am not without my Critics

 

This was copied from a website by Screen capture

As you can see I am not without my Critics??

the original can be viewed  <HERE>

 

 

Why now?

 

Paddy Doyle!

Paddy ran a website that Survivor have relied on for years, not One not 2 but Twelve or more!

Paddy never promised anything, not as far as I can remember?

He applied to be on the Board of the Statutory Trust Fund and was accepted.

It is here in-spite of my best efforts. We Fought and We Lost!

 

Many of you may feel let down by him, and this has been expressed on “Social Media”; but I really do not feel this is the Place for “Name Calling”.

 

Recently his “Personal Life” was brought into Question on this website; and that is what it is “Personal”

 

Where as I am happy to leave all  the posts that have been posted to date stand!

 

PLEASE: By all means “Dig Coal!”

For this is the only place we have to air our Grievances in Private!

This is where we can Support each other!

 

BUT PLEASE Let’s Keep Business “Business” and Personal “Personal” i.e. Separate!

 

As usual I welcome your Thoughts and Comments

 

Thank You for taking the time to read this!

 

Take Care

 

Rob

[jack colleton]

been on this site a few years now and read alot of bad experience with groups etc  that members suffered and i hoped that would not be my experience even though not a member of any group but since then personal experience in trying to get case closure has indeed been instructive as to the truth of members experiences! 

[Gaye Dalton]

I have seen a LOT of victimisation within online support since I first came online in 1997, and I do mean "A LOT". At first people assumed you couldn't be harmed over the internet, and by the time anyone realised you could a whole culture of online predation and revictimisation had taken root very deeply. 

[jack colleton]

that rings a bell!  some of that i think i have found is sharing my details (story) only to be told sorry can not help!

[Gaye Dalton]

I got that too...and the NGOs are the same, you have to have a problem that suits their agenda ofr they have nothing for you...but worse, to find what I had shared was used to mess with my head...

[jack colleton]

thankyou for that Gaye. exactly my experience to the letter!

[jack colleton]

had to pay return fares to attend counselling out of benifit money. when the counsellor died suddenly no replacement was found. 

[jack colleton]

and i feel obliged to add that some places had less sympathy for male victims of institutionalized child abuse!

[Gaye Dalton]

That is AWFU...I know the situation regarding a lack of resources and sympathy for male victims of any kind of sexual abuse too...but women are not off scott free...if you were not traumatised by the popular, approved abuse, there is nothing for you either...

[jack colleton]

yes the focus is on physical or sexual abuse. it can be hard enough to talk about either when aware gender is an issue.

[Gaye Dalton]

What goes a step beyond, and horrifies me more, is that there is literally nothing, anywhere available to the victims of the mental and emotional toxicity of the whole system. They may not have been physically or sexually touched, but at least that kind of abuse is a tangible thing, like finding an antibody or a virus under a microscope...

As an adult you can got back and say to yourself:
I was touched, or subject to violence, inappropriately by someone in a position of trust, there is NO QUESTION that should never have happened, whatever the excuse...

 

But mental and emotional abuse is the ring that has no end...what was your own fault? What is subjective? What is your imagination? What is "normal" anyway? WHERE IS YOUR PROOF...even inside your own mind...

Do you know the Laundry orders have applications in for funding for residential services as well as campaigning for laws to force "fallen women" to engage with them? 

Do you know that there are already residential services in other areas, such as autism, ID and "challenging behaviour" that are not unlike open prisons for adults as well as minors  getting a fortune from the HSE and providing additional, "in house" supported employment?
Do you know at least one large residential service provider had a clinical Director with links in the public domain to a sex abuse scandal in the 90s who was quietly "retired" during the Ryan Report? At the time the majority of his charges would have been in a remarkably similar category to those affected by the earlier sex abuse scandal...

...and that is just stuff I picked up along the way while lobbying and advocating quite different issues...

My overall conclusion is that once enough dirt has been brushed under the carpet, ostentatiously enough to silence and public outcry nobody bothers to check or monitor anything, and the voluntary and community sector has evolved into a culture of corruption where everybody covers for everybody else and is too dependent on everybody else covering for them to ever blow the whistle or tell the truth HOWEVER much damage that involves to innocent people.