The Shame of Ireland
How do patients who seek safety survive against a hushed Society of coverup and betrayal. What can patients do when their doctors merely see them as products for Pharma and Clinical Trial experiments - Who stops the suffering...Yes, I went in trust to Hospital when I suffered a broken right foot...Yes, I let go of all of the pain of two years of dangerous medications and adverse side effects...Yes, I believed to let go and trust the good doctors again...Yes, I thought for a moment that the accident was meant to be - to reconcile a way with trust in Healthcare....Oh, what a fool, I was...I questioned why the operation was on the left foot and not on the broken right foot, I questioned why I had internal injuries and bruising and tears to pelvic area following foot operation. I questioned why I had surgery scars to my throat and why was part of my neck bone gone, I questioned surgery keyhole scars to my hips and my stomach, I question surgery marks to my knees and injection marks to almost every bone in my body including my face and my elbows, I questioned the pain throughout my body, I questioned the swelling at the top of my head and asked what was being lifted off my head as I was waking up. They showed me xrays of my left leg saying that that was the broken leg - they had by now placed a plate and a screw into left leg - the foot that had no mark, no pain, no bruising, no swelling - the foot that was broken, swollen, bruised and out of shape and painful was left alone and I was told to hop on it so to keep the left foot off the ground.
The xray despite them having L on the xray was not my left foot - by the toes I could see that it was my right foot - Why the Lies....I worked with the medical team for 7 weeks with them eventually stating we will put a cast on your right leg (Note the cast on the right leg was within one week after the accident) - just to make you happy the surgeon said. - I was told again and again to listen to the doctors - they know best...I was by now in a wheelchair (remember all I had was a right broken foot). At home I wrote emails to the hospital questioning the pain in my abdomen, throat and pelvic area....On the 29th October 2013 - seven weeks after the accident myself and Tom, my partner, had a meeting/consultation with the Consultant...Doctor had nurse taking notes...I was happy with that...The Doctor said you have been raising questions and asked did I think he had operated on the wrong foot - I told him that I do not understand that I was not accusing him and understand that some breaks do not pain (as I was told when they told me I had two broken feet??) but that I know that I fell to a drop of 4 ft and landed full weight on my right foot, I heard the crunch from my right foot and fell over on to my right side
I asked the Consultant why I had cuts to my pelvic area and told him that I was in a lot of pain since the operation throughout my body - He aggressively asked me if I was accusing him and his team of sexually assaulting me - I said, of course, not - I would not think such a thing...I am only concerned as to why I have so much bruising in that area and on examination I had seen cuts - He threatened to ring the police - I told him to go ahead but again stressed to him that I was only concerned as to why I had so many cuts and bruising following a foot operation. I asked him to have me medically examined in that area of my body by another doctor of his choice in the hospital. He snapped at me that he would continue looking after my foot but that he wanted nothing more to do with me after my foot was healed and that when he was finished with me, I was never to come near his hospital again.
Tom and I left his room and went to get the xray - the form which the consultant had already signed to see the state of my feet. A nurse brought me into the area to have the casts removed and I was then told that I could go for physio and that my feet were mended. I asked how could they decide that - the consultant had said to me earlier that I was to have an xray to check the bones as two weeks previous I had been told by a doctor that the right bones were not healed. I was again refused the xrays and told that I could now walk with crutches...I could not even stand up...A Director of Nursing came in and sat with me for over three hours - talking to me how wonderful I was adjusting to the wheelchair - I sat there asking why am I not allowed to get xray as I have form already from doctor - I was in a public area - Nurse Director kept talking to me and Tom told her how I wrote prose and poetry and looked up information on the internet - she started questioning me then how do I get my information on internet that she wouldn't have a clue how to do anything - Wasn't I wonderful she kept smiling at me - I kept asking Tom please if they are not doing the xray take me home - but she kept telling Tom that we have to stay - I asked why ...eventually she agreed to xray but said we have to go the back corridor to the xray department - I asked why? Why can't we go the normal route which I had gone every two weeks before - she said it was because there was a crowd of people up there and they would get me done quicker - I forced myself in the wheelchair out through the doors and went the normal route - there was not even one other person waiting for an xray. Director Nurse offered to come in to xray room with me - I agreed - the Xray chap I had had before and he was pleasant - He and Director Nurse insisted several times for me to lie down on bed to have xrays done of feet!! I asked why? I said every other time I could just place my feet on the square table and still sit in the wheelchair - they tried several ways of me just lying down on the bed - they said they could slip slides underneath - I told them I was really more comfortable to sit in the usual way and place my feet...The xray chap said it would be awkward for you to twist around - I reminded him that he had told me I was well able to manage before...He then went and placed a heavy apron type xray waistcoat on my lap and pressed in on my pelvic area - the apron/waistcoat was very heavy...he then took several xrays - when he lifted the waistcoat from my lap - it was clear to see the rectangle shape of an xray plate - I said nothing....I just wanted to get out -
Back in the public area - the director nurse kept saying we have now to wait until doctor checks the xrays - I was kept in that hospital for five hours or more - when I tried to leave and ask Tom to please wheel me out even into the garden/yard for some air - director nurse kept talking to him how wonderful I was and then she asked Tom what does he do - he mentioned Transport and then she kept talking away to him how she could do with someone who knows of transport as the hospital is under pressure for trips etc., By this stage I was exhausted, humiliated and I had had this young girl dressed in casual clothes with a notepad trying to engage me in conversation. I thought she was a student and I told her politely that I did not want to engage and ask questions in such a public area - within feet of us there were other patients getting casts on and off and some children. She asked me how my thoughts are....she eventually walked away - this was all in front of director nurse who at this stage got up and did some drama about how wonderful those spools are that the nurses use to place elasticated bandages on legs - Director nurse actually did a drama of this as if she were on stage - Next I got such a hot flush all over me as another nurse was at a computer in the left corner and two nurses tried to engage me in looking to the right. I was lying stretched on a bed so I asked the nurse could I please have my blood pressure taken - my BP had shot to over 200 - I asked what was the black screen in the left corner - but was fobbed off that the nurse was just trying to locate a GP for me as I had not registered with one and they, the hospital, wanted to recommend one to me...Tears were flowing down my face -
It truly was like something out of One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest - Director Nurse was laughing away. Somewhere within the madness of it all a warm strength came inside of me and a calmness that I felt I was outside of myself....Calmly but positively I stated that I wanted a copy disc of the xrays taken that day - 29th October 2013 - How I prayed throughout that day in my heart and in the silence of my being - I was told that No you cannot have an xray copy - you have to write in for it. I stated that I already had received a disc in the beginning of xrays and that I now wanted whatever was taken that day - God Thank you for the strength you gave me in those long moments - I was told to wait for a while - I did - I went down in wheelchair to the Physio Department where they tried to get me standing on crutches - I tried and tried but the pain was like the bone in my right foot coming through - When I had visited the Physio Department two weeks previous to register for Physio - the physiotherapist said to me that I can see clearly that you have two casts on your legs but there is only mention of one cast in your Medical Records and one foot operation.
Whilst I waited for the copy Xray the Consultant whom I had been with earlier walked past - I put my hand out to him - he stopped and came over to me - I said Doctor I do not understand what has gone on and what is going on here today - he said to me not to worry and to come and see him in two weeks time...A nurse came out to me then with the copy disc of the Xrays - her face was frozen - I touched her arm in a gentle way and said her name and that I do not want any upset - she snapped her arm away from me and shouted at me Not to touch her....Tom and I went home with Disc...but that night I was too sore and too upset to look at it....
The day after the Xrays - 30th October 2013 - I placed the CD in the computer to look at foot Xrays - Yes, there were the foot Xrays...I was not prepared what came up next but for me I was not surprised...the words MGlass came up and displayed what looked like a miniature glass vase...then came up an Xray named Curimage...I knew the moment I saw it what they had done to me - why would the doctors even have an Xray of my pelvic area taken when I was told all they had done was a left ankle foot operation...the Xray confirmed the cuts,the bruising, the violation - the Medical Rape - of my most private part of my body - and yes, I knew then they had mutilated the most private parts of my broken body - I cried and cried but yet I knew that I was vindicated - there was the evidence - surely now someone would help me and give me safe healthcare to stop the pain going up through me, the slow movement of my hips - the twisting of my spine - Just before September 2013 I was a wizard at motivation - I had just emptied and sold a four bedroomed house on my own - One week down in this midland town I had that accident to my right foot - days later I was in a wheelchair and my whole insides had not only been violated but ripped apart - here I was looking at the evidence of that...I sent copies of the xray to the hospital and asked for someone to ring me to explain what this was...Yes, I did ring them then and cried what had they done to me - I contacted the Nurse director who had spent almost five hours with me the day before - I asked her to please explain the xray to me - She snapped at me that as I had insulted her the day before she was refusing to talk to me....seven weeks of asking before I saw the xray was now falling into part before my eyes.
A woman's body tells a lot but a woman's body can tell when she has been raped, a man's body can too - but medical violation is still rape- but for medical science those who do not tell the truth attempts to state progression of science....I was sickened to my being at the realisation that these doctors had touched that private part of my body without permission - without consent - . I then started my research - on looking at the Xray, I googled clinical trials on glass in that hospitals - I did not know what I would find - but was not shocked but vindicated within myself to see that Yes, bioactive glass of clinical trials was ongoing in that hospital since 2012....Whilst I never accused the hospital doctor of placing bioactive glass into me - I did some days later after much reflection and no communication from the hospital, I very carefully put a letter together to the Irish Medical Council and to the Garda Commissioner - I had also noted that in 2012 the Health Minister had brought a Health Bill into force making it a criminal offence for any doctor or healthcare worked to violate or mutilate that part of a woman's body in an Irish hospital - I knew also that I had suffered female mutilation - I therefore wrote the professional letters without blame just raising concerns and asking for investigations.
Within days my dear family were contacted by Gardai stating that a doctor in that hospital was worried about his reputation and that I had said terrible things about him...A few days later I was visited by two doctors in this home - I was asked by one doctor (who did not tell me that the second doctor was actually his colleague in his practice) would I go and see someone - I asked who - he asked me would I go to visit a psychiatrist on the following Monday - this was a Thursday evening - the GP advised me that I was doing the right thing and that he would phone me on the Friday afternoon to make an appointment for the next Monday with the psychiatrist in the near Town. I thanked him and told him that maybe it would be OK to take him on as my GP. I knew I had no choice two Gardai from the local station were standing outside the door. I said I would as he, the GP, in my home advised. - this GP was the same GP that that hospital had tried to coerce me into taking on as my GP...Before the Gardai went away, one sergeant came in and told me that he had a copy of the Xray and under the Criminal Act 2012 he was going to investigate it...I thanked him...The next day day Friday -..I rang the GP to ask the secretary what was the procedure and she asked me to hold on...she came back to me and told me that yes, what I had stated was the correct one - that her doctor was to contact me - he was just busy at the moment and that he would be ringing me shortly...
Later that Friday afternoon that GP rang me...he told me that things had moved on and that there was a car on it's way to me from a Psychiatric Hospital - I asked him why had he lied to me...and asked what was going on....As he spoke to me the car/bus was already outside this home....Four mental health nurses - let me fill you in here - the Medical Council had informed the doctor re my letter and copy xray - the doctor in turn rang the gardai stating that I had accused him of sexually assaulting me - without an interview, without a statement, without dignity or any human rights, without the rights to a solicitor, without all things human - I was dragged from this house in that wheelchair - I was forced onto a bed without a medical assessment - I was held down by three nurses whilst a fourth injected me with psychotropic drugs without consent - for five weeks I was held there - starting off with 8 psychotropic drugs per day - I tried to refuse - I was visited by a solicitor from the Mental Health Tribunal and told that I can refuse drugs - the nurses confirmed to the solicitor that I do not need to take them...when the solicitor from the tribunal left I was told that if I refuse they will force me down again...I became compliant - I had to undergo further xrays without being allowed to see those xrays...the psychiatrists then put me on a mixture of blood pressure drugs as well as the psychotropic cocktails - one of the blood pressure drugs one to speed the heartbeat - the other slowed it down and they would do an ECG to see the contrast - telling me all is OK - I knew it wasn't - at times my heart was racing - then suddenly it would nearly stop - the madness of it all - then the Mental Health took over and tried their best to convince me I was in a bad state to even question a doctor and that now that it has shown that I have a chemical imbalance I have to take Invega for many years....I looked at them and I knew who was mad and who was not...I got home and my body and my life was so broken -
Yes, I was and am a prisoner of this state in the land of the freedom that is so not...but I went on - I was told that now I have to meet with a mental health nurse who questions my thoughts and tells me just to watch the birds and nature and to take the medicine - I ask the psychiatrist some months later what about the side effects, I tell him about the rashes, the bruising, the unsteadiness and that I want to stop the cocktail of drugs - he tells me that I need them - I ask about the xray and the scars on my body - he tells me that I have a psychiatric illness and that I need to stay on Invega - I tell him that I have researched that Invega can cause Parkinsons disease and that I have many weaknesses in my muscles and my nails are so thin and all in ridges - he checks my nails and confirms this and then he states that Yes Invega can cause symptoms like Parkinsons....and I realise the prison I am in - whilst good doctor goes on torturing women under guises of minor operations..
I found a new GP - he was very kind and very good for some time - He confirmed that I had very little movement in my hips back etc.,for a woman of my age - I told him that since that foot operation I also had a lot of pain in bowel area - My GP arranged for me to have an Xray at another hospital - My GP on receiving these details from the new hospital asked me when did I have the procedure done to my bowel - I confirmed to him that I never had had a procedure to my bowel and only had the pain there since the foot operation - the results of that xray on bowel states - Just to refresh - the operation on the foot was on the Wednesday 11th Sept 2013 - this bowel Xray was on 6th March 2014 - Result: There is a mild rotoscolliosis of the Lumbar spine convex to the right centred at L2 - L3. Two Level Degenerative disc disease at L4-L5 and L5-S1 where there is significant loss of disc height and endplate sclerosis. There is also moderate bilateral facet joint changes demonstrated at L5-S1, Impression: Advanced degenerative disc disease at L4-L5 andL5-S1. Early degenerative hip changes demonstrated. Note made of a surgical bowel anastomoses the right lower quadrant.-
Thoracic Exam - Bones are ostopenic but no fractures demonstrated. Mild Kyphosis secondary to early degenerative changes.
When I told the GP that I had never had a bowel operation - he was surprised and asked me if I was sure - I knew then from all the surgery marks around my abdomen, pelvic area, hips and neck that I had been abused medically for the most barbaric of clinical trials in that hospital - a hospital that had also carried out many symphysiotomies - for those who do not know what (sim-vi-sist-omies) means it was a clinical trial on cutting through the pelvic bone and opening the pelvic area like a gate to allow births to happen. The symphysiotomy ladies, the survivors, I should say have been before the UN committee on torture and even now in many cases 60 years later the hospitals and the doctors will not admit responsibility in any way - these procedures were going on up to 1984 or longer in some hospitals in Ireland.
I knew by now that I had been used in clinical trials - even with the evidence before them, even with the many new surgical scars on my body, even with the still damaged right foot, even with the truth before them - the Medical Council, the Department of Health any and every doctor did not want to know - this is where the abuse of Psychiatry comes in although I do believe now that this is where Psychiatry is used to protect doctors and label patients - it really is the madness to protect those who have done the harm and to further ridicule and silent the patient - what is one left with - as my spine, hips and all areas of my body are stiffening or turning - I am suppose to accept such lies and further harm to my body by those who swore the Oath of No Harm - It breaks my heart to know that doctors are doing these barbaric trials and medical torture to patients just because they can. Yet, I know that there are good doctors who have been silenced for speaking up for patients... The circle of torture to patients has to stop and the rise of trust has to begin. That can only ever be achieved by doctors who do harm being challenged,questioned and stopped in some way. This can be done by good doctors standing up for patients and their rights. But of course we all know that in many of "their" eyes we are only products for "industry"....Even as I place my fingers on my hips I can still feel the keyhole surgery marks where I can almost push my finger through to the bone....
I have spoken freely to the Psychiatrist and the Mental Health Nurse and told them that I have read up on many doctors speaking out about the harm being done to patients - I have talked about Dr Peter Goetsche,Dr David Healy and the CEPUK.Org - these mental health people state they have never heard of them -
I have now received some of my Medical Records from that Hospital and there is evidence of everything I have said - except of course, no mention of the pelvic Xray as above - the hospital has denied any such Xrays - I gave them names of the staff involved in the Xray right down to the name of the nurse who handed me the Xray on the 29th October 2013 - they, of course,deny deny. My records show clearly that the fractures were to my right leg and foot - no mention of any break to left foot - the only information on the left foot is two weeks after the operation they have notes written about fixing screw and plate to foot during operation - this date was at the end of September - clearly showing records were written up weeks after the operation.
The records also show written information on the Event Sheet of a Laryngotomy ???
I would mention here that I had a blood pressure medication given to me by a different consultant in another hospital in 2011 - which was like an explosion of poison throughout my body - but it is important to note that since that time - every medication and procedure has been questionable towards me - that BP med broke down my Thyroid which no doctor would treat, help me - I was left suffer the breakdown of my immune system - as doctors in hospitals shouted at me or gave me further harmful medicines - following the foot operation I had also scars to the base of my neck- visible surgery scars,scars underneath my arms and also at the side of my neck -
On 12th Sept.13 - Lymph - 0.69 - somehow I think this is relevant.
Radiology Report: 11.09.2013 :
There is evidence of chip fracture to the Right lateral malleolus. Also there is a fracture of the Right calcaneum.
A/E Examination on the night of 11.09.2013 - o/e (on examination) :
swollen deformed right ankle, swollen right elbow with abrasion and abrasion to right palm
injury to right ankle, right elbow, right palm.
I asked my GP what can be done with my right foot as can stilll feel as if bone coming through underneath heel - he said the hospital is going to do nothing else -
Hospital states no procedure was done to right foot - yet there is a surgical scar down the back of heel and what looks like a flat plate inserted into foot - one doctor stated to me that I had plates inserted in both feet -? hospital doctor now denies this??
I have been drugged at different times that has caused nerve damage - blue violet light has been placed over my left eye that created a large blister - hospital said I fell - nurse asked one week later how did your black eye heal so quick - I told her it was a blister and it went down - Yes it is dangerous for us patients who see through their lies, through their abuse of our bodies medically - but what can we do??
The pain, the twisting of my spine - we know now that the trials going on throughout the world with biomedical glass shows that the bone grows around the glass - why would a doctor put such glass into a pelvic area and lower spine - Doctor has confirmed that my spine is turning - even photographs can show clearly the twist in the spine and as for the pelvic bones - the pressure of them turning is with me now all the time...
The Consultant doctor when he heard I had written letter to the Medical Council with a copy of the Xray - Note I never accused this doctor of placing biomedical glass into my bones - I simply sent a copy of the Xray that the doctor or hospital would not explain to me and stated that there are clinical trials going on in that hospital by that doctor of placing biomedical glass into bones.
I have the file now where it shows the letters from this doctor to past doctors I had telling them that he was very concerned for my mental health and believes strongly that I have a psychiatric illness as he states that I have accused him of sexually assaulting me - I never accused that doctor of anything such thing - the old GP wrote back and following the blood pressure drug side effects three years ago I was again shunned as that drug is on recall in many US states and Canada - but in Ireland all hospitals call it the wonder drug with no side effects - I was told that I was a thorn in Healthcare's side and there is no doubt now that these doctors have broken down my body and left me crippled in pain and injury...The old GP sent him back a report that was done in 2012 by a psychiatrist who stated whilst I was somewhat anxious he would not give me medication because I did not have a psychiatric illness - Thank God for one good doctor telling the truth - However, this doctor under panic was destroying me in every way -- I know to cover up any wrongdoing that is sponsored by Pharma the doctors will go to any lengths to shut patients up - it is called "hiding the evidence" and as the book Pharmageddon shows...ghostwriters - but behind it all there are real live people, like me and many others, who are shunned like lepors in Society and whose governments and healthcare professionals stand by and allow the torture to continue not in the name of Science but in the name of Greed and Power and the abduction of human lives - so betrayed - so lost...
I would mention here that I wrote about the above to Sir Nigel Rodley who had chaired the meeting in Geneva with the Symphysiostomy Group of Survivors. Sir Nigel Rodley did write back to me and advised me to go for Legal Aid - What chance would I have - I have already approached the Department of Health, Minister for Justice and Taoiseach and all parties in Leinster House who are complicit in this by their silence. Human Rights Ireland and many Human Rights Solicitors do not want to know - even with the evidence before this...Ireland is still corrupt and with hospitals being paid millions to do clinical trials on bio-engineering patients suffering - Please help to stop the silence on the abuse of Patients in Hospitals....Sadly Marian Harkin one of the MEPs in Europe saw the above xray and walked away saying there is nothing she can do - she then went off to Bahrain to interview the tortured doctors there and came back to Ireland and spoke out for them - God Bless them, they too are suffering, would they really want Marian Harkin coming to visit them whilst she walks away and remains silent on medical torture to Irish women...I think not! And Yes, the Catholic Church is well informed of what is going on in Irish Hospitals, the cover up of Garda brutality and is again complicit in torture to Irish citizens,if only by their silence.
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