The Shame of Ireland
When we left Ireland it was because there was no place for us as we were unprepaired for society.The fact that we left means we are cut off . thankyou to Pauline Jackson for that home truth.
The ones who stayed have in some cases totally rejected the ones who came back. know what you mean
nobody can be blamed for thinking they were prisoner of the state but even prisoners should be free from abuse.
hello Pauline. please excuse delay in response. oh no you are very interesting and you have lots to share and people with shared experience recognize certain key words when they are expressed and heard or read! some survivors will draw a line and not revisit unless awakened to the need to do so perhaps the call is felt or heard and they respond then but many find painfull either way. yes i am cut off from certain people in Ireland and as to the reasons well it just all seems too convenient for the abusers. thankyou again Pauline because your words speak how i feel. they articulate how i feel. they remind me how i feel. yes i wonder about photos. i still dream i am at letter boxes in all the 'homes' i was in desperately looking for news or information before it is spirited away! i am convinced that new members to this site can only benifit from joining and will feel so much better for sharing their opinion. we can all help each other in strange ways! i think Rob is doing a fantastic job here as well as great service for survivors and friends. i can not praise him highly enough and i am aware of his recent bereavement also his loved one's op. still he is here for us! what do you mean by "not finished"?
Well by not finished .I am talking of the effects of shocks.My time in golden bridge was in the fifties.There were times that being in there in the care of these nuns put me into a state in which i walked and worked weariing a helmet of gray cotten woll. this seems to have had the effect of causing the fear to come back whenever i panique. the small child standing against the wall watching the lay helper beat the shit out of a smaller child than i was then . this was before xs the famous manager took over as head nun .there was always fear everywhere we were 'so it became part of our way of reacting to situatiions. we did not learn the ways of life because the nuns were always thinking of after death. i was told every day about being a good catholic. and even then i would not be good enough for god so she was going to lock me up for the rest of my life to protect society. every step you take is a step towards hell. i was eight. how could we think of what we would do with ourselves once outside. I had to improvise' so it meant keeping quiet or taking the risk of being insulted as a fool.no one believes that some just dont know things. i am unfinished because i could not shake of some images and so it took time to grow up as i hadent had a childhood. its missing. and its left a gap.I did not feel equal to others in size and being alone without family well it makes us vulnerable.
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