YOU GOTTA LAUFF!!

Comment by Margaret Thornton on October 18, 2010 at 22:49

the pensioner and the criminal. lets put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. this way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. they'd receive unlimited free prescriptions , dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it. they would have constant video monitoring so they could be helped instantly, if they fell or needed assistance. the criminals would get cold food be left all alone and unsupervised.lights out at 8pm, and showers once a week,live in a tiny room and pay 500 pounds a week and have no hope of ever getting out. think about this. maggie

Comment by Margaret Thornton on October 18, 2010 at 22:51

hi to everyone on lol. maggie

Comment by Rob Northall on October 18, 2010 at 23:47

Englishman, Welshman and a Pakistani! Outside the labour Ward!

When out comes the Mid Wife and announces!

“All Your wives gave birth at the save time; It was very hectic and we are not sure whose baby belong to each of you?”

The Englishman says “I’ll go in first and get my baby!” and dashes in!

He emerges quickly with what is obviously a “Pakistani” Baby!

The Pakistani is distressed and objects saying “That is my Baby! It is clear to see that he is Pakistani!”


The Englishman runs out of the Hospital saying

“I don’t care one of those left is Welsh! And I am not taking any Chances!”

Comment by Margaret Thornton on October 19, 2010 at 18:34

cows. is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow born in bourne almost three years ago.right to the stall where she slept in the county of lincolnshire. and they even tracked her calves to their stalls but they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country,maybe we should give each of them a cow. maggie

Comment by Rob Northall on October 19, 2010 at 19:49

I Love you subtle Irony!

Comment by Rose Gosnell on October 19, 2010 at 20:05

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:

My wife and I were travelling by car from Cape Town to Johannesburg.

Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. We only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the receptionist handed us a bill for R1400.00.

I exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. I told the clerk although it was a nice hotel; the rooms certainly weren't worth R1400.00 for four hours! He told me that R1400.00 was the 'standard rate'. I insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared, listened to me, and explained that the hotel
had an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were
available for us to use. 'But we didn't use them," I said.' 'Well, they
are here, and you could have," he said.
He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel was famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and all over the world perform here," he informed me.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," I said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I answered,"But we didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a cheque and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But sir, this cheque is only made out for R200.00." ''That's correct. I charged you R1200.00 for sleeping with my wife," I replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaimed the Manager.

I said, "Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."

(Don't mess with Senior Citizens!

Comment by Rob Northall on October 19, 2010 at 20:11

Nice one Rose!

Comment by Rob Northall on October 20, 2010 at 9:12

On the subject of “Mad Cows” Two Cows in a field when one asks the other “What do you think about this Mad Cow Disease?”
The other Cow Replied “Doesn’t worry me I’m a Squirrel????”

Comment by Margaret Thornton on October 20, 2010 at 19:26

the canadian constitution. they keep talking about drafting a constitution for irag..why don't we just give them ours? it was drawn up by a lot of very smart people, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it. Maggie, (Rob is this humorous for you've gotta lauff?) i have a dry sence of humor

Comment by Rose Gosnell on October 21, 2010 at 14:31

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his
wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

"What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece
of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,"
she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was
the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known
there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when
she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron
skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked "What in
the world was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse called."

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